Ana knew someone that works there, so we ended up scoring some free tickets, which was great because I forgot how expensive those places can be. After we put our stuff in a locker, we grabbed a tube and floated around the park in this big artificial river they had running in a circle around the inside of the park to make it fun and easy to get to different areas. It was hard to actually see what they had in the park from the river area though, so it wasn't much of a help for taking a look around so we just got out and walked around. Ana showed me all the waterslides and the wave pool and the kids area. She also showed me the waterslide that she had told me about before we got there, the one that she informed me was "the biggest waterslide in Latin America". It was called Insano, and though she had told me it was 33 meters (108 feet), it was really 41 m (134.5 feet) as a large sign on the slide proudly proclaimed. Something tells me that they had made it bigger since the last time she was here...
We walked around for a little bit and while I wanted to do something together, Ana kept insisting that I go on water slides (she doesn't like water slides, but refuses to admit that she's scared of them). "You go on the water slide and I'll get the camera and take pictures of you going on the water slide, that is doing something together!"
"OK, OK fine" I finally relented, standing in line for the esfinges. I had seen the slides attached to set of stairs that I as climbing and they didn't seem that bad, a couple of short 45 degree steps separated by short horizontal stretches. When I got to the top however, I found out that there were apparently 2 rides, the line divided at the top, and one of them had a much shorter wait: sarcófago. Now, I was fairly confident that it wasn't much different, but I hadn't seen the slide: a sharp downward angle in an entirely closed tube. Reading the description of the water slide afterwards on their website, I would find out that I had been travelling up to 80 km/h. For the metrically challenged, that's 50 mph! Apparently, however, it wasn't fast enough, as I ran out of momentum while I was still in the tube, about 20 feet from the end and began to panic, envisioning someone coming down behind me as I scrambled frantically for the exit.
After that heart stopping experience I was equal parts done with water slides for the rest of my life and ready to go on anything else they could throw at me. Ana kept insisting that I should go on the Insano, and I kept insisting that she was trying to get me killed. Eventually, I decided that I was going to just go on it and get it over with, so that we could stop discussing it and do something less suicidal. As I climbed the many, many stairs of the wooden platform leading to the top, a voice coming from a speaker informed me (in portuguese and english) that this was, in fact, "the tallest and fastest water slide in the world" and that anyone overweight, pregnant, with heart problems, a bad back, or anyone that was just a total wuss shouldn't go on the ride. While I was on my way up, a woman was coming down slowly, pale in the face and clutching the rail. When I got to the top, I waved to Ana so that she could take some pictures of me to prove that I faced up to the challenge.
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While I was waiting for the slide, I couldn't help but examine the physics of the situation. 41 meters high, 9.8 m/s², V = A × T, E = ½ Mass × V², all of this together means that at this height, your bones end up liquified if anything goes wrong. Once I got on the slide, I decided that the only way I was going to not wet myself was to just close my eyes and slowly count to 10 as I went over the edge. From watching a few people go down the slide before I climbed to the top, I was quite certain the worst part would be well over, and if I made it to 10, I'd be OK. After releasing, the water took hold of me and slowly dragged me toward the edge, about 15 feet from where you get onto the slide. 1 second later, I was over the edge, and for the first second and a half, there's nothing but air underneath me. For another second, there's a slight slope, and then it quickly slopes down into a horizontal tunnel about 50 feet long that dumps you into a pool at the end. It took me to 11 to get to the pool. Below is a video (not mine) of someone riding the Insano. I would find out later on the website, that I was travelling up to 105 km/h or 65 mph, that's car on the highway fast.
After that, we put the camera away and Ana and I rode a couple of the more tame rides together: the Moréia Negra and Atlantis . I actually hurt myself on Moréia Negra, tweaked my back a little going around one of the sharp turns (I don't think I was holding the raft quite right). Since Atlantis is for 3 people at a time, we actually had to split up and go with different sets of people, and I was waiting for her at the end where she climbed off of the raft whimpering and clinging to me. I laughed because I'm kind of a jerk like that.
We decided to relax in the wavepool and catch some sun, so we snagged some tubes. Across the pool was a kids' area where they had big powered waterguns shaped like machine guns and mortars on a giant fort. Above the fort was a huge anthropomorphic bucket character that got constantly filled with water and, after playing a song, dumped the water all over anyone that was standing in the area in front of the fort. It made me wish I wass a kid again so that I could get away with jumping all over the fort and shooting unsuspecting people with blasts from the mortars.
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